In PC World, how does a chicken cross the road?

NT Chicken:
    Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken:
    It crossed the road in style years ago,
    but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken:
    You see different colored feathers while it crosses,
    but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM):
    It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought the
road.

OOP Chicken:
    It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
    First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:
    It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
    The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road,
    you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken:
    USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
    The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other
side.

Java Chicken:
    If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
    download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:
    Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
    Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
    Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
    across the road in your pocket !

Cray Chicken:
    Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in
    liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
    The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the
    road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:
    Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !

Mac Chicken:
    No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the
    road, so there's no way to tell it to.


The line of Intel-chickens(TM)

The first chicken never found the road, so it couldn't cross it

The second one arrived at the road, but lost it's nerve and never
crossed

The third chicken made a good start across that road, but halfway
across it forgot what it was doing and went back for further
instruction

The fourth chicken actually made it across the road. When it finally
arrived, it noticed that a host of nearly (but not quite) identical
chickens followed it across the road

The fifth chicken sprinted across the road. Unfortunately it
miscalculated the distance and stopped two feet from the edge of the
road, where it met it's sad fate.

The sixth chicken was so busy bragging about the ease at which it was
going to cross that road, that it never actually got to the other side.

The seventh chicken is still embedded in it's egg, but plans to do away
with such mundane things as roads. Who needs roads anyway?